Autism Diversity

Hello and welcome to my blog!

My name is Caroline, I’m Norwegian and I was diagnosed with autism (ASD) at 27 (four years ago). I have always known that I was different and that I struggled with things and situations that most others didn’t. Life has always been difficult for me for reasons that I myself and others couldn’t understand, and that worried me.

The words that described my challenges and my differences before the diagnosis were shy, quirky, awkward, nerdy, childish, stubborn, self-centered, dramatic and sensitive. These descriptions of me made me feel bad about myself. In addition, I have my “bad habits” (which I now know are called stims), and my sensory sensitivities that I didn’t know how to explain. Therefore felt that I had to hide them as best as I could to avoid negative attention.

The most challenging and alienating out of all my traits is that I feel that I constantly live in my own “bubble”, and that I find it challenging and exhausting to “connect” to the world that exists outside my own thoughts. I was sure that when I grew up I would be like everyone else and manage to live my life accordingly. Because, that’s how it works, right?

In order to follow this expectation, I was extremely hard on myself and constantly pushed away my needs because I didn’t identify the same needs in others. I tried to mirror others and act as “normal” as I could. I was absolutely terrified that anyone would find out that it was all a mask. On the other side, I tried to focus on my special interests (at the time I didn’t know that this was an autistic trait), in order to try to make a life and a career out of one of them. My life has always been guided by my special interests, something I felt was positive.

However, I learned the hard way that I couldn’t continue pushing away my needs. At 26, before finishing my Master’s Degree, I completely fell apart and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I thought I had broken myself beyond repair and that I would never be able to face life again. When I finally found out that my challenges had to do with autism, it was as if everything fell into place. Getting an autism diagnosis has been the most positive turning point in my life!

Ever since I found out that I am Autistic I’ve learned a lot about my diagnosis through books, summits and social media. Being able to learn about the experiences of other Autistic people has been extremely valuable to me. I honestly never imagined that there would be people like me out there. I thought I was the only one who was “wrong”.

After learning more about the diagnosis I feel that, although it is a disability, autism can lead to many positive traits and skills as well. ASD is a type of neurodivergence and it is a different way of being. It is not wrong and we are not ill or broken. Autism is like having a different “operating system” and this affects how we perceive and experience the world around us.

The reason I’m starting this blog is because I want to share my personal experiences as an Autistic person and contribute to spreading more knowledge about this and about neurodiversity in general. I believe that it is very important that the voices of Autistic people are heard so that society can move away from the negative stigma around autism and Autistic people.

I chose the name Autism Diversity for my blog because I wanted to emphasize that Autism is a spectrum and that each Autistic person is different. My logo represents this diversity with all the different flowers and colors. In addition, the flowers are meant to represent that autism can be something positive and that each and every one of us has the capacity to grow and bloom as a person.

In addition to this blog, I also offer presentations about autism and neurodiversity. If anyone is interested in booking a presentation, they can contact me via e-mail autismemangfold@gmail.com . Both the blog and the presentations are available in English, Norwegian and Spanish.

My hope for this blog is that it can be an active part of a larger forum of the spread of knowledge and discussion about autism and neurodiversity. I hope that it can help the world see autism as a natural variation of being human, a natural part of the world’s neurodiversity. I also hope that society and the people around us can become more accepting, inclusive and accommodating towards Neurodivergent people.

Note: Like many others who write about autism I choose to capitalize the first letter in the word when it is referring to an identity (Autistic person). As Clem Bastow argues in her book “Late Bloomer: How an Autism Diagnosis changed my Life”, the capital letter contributes to an understanding of autism as more than just a ‘condition’. Autism is also a community and a culture.